When it’s silent

All the memories rush back like a flip-book

I get a quick glimpse of the past

Shifting through years of moments we shared together

My childhood chapter- I’m most fond of

But the one that really strikes a chord, is the last.

The day I made a surprise visit to see you

I can’t stop thinking about the way your face lit up when you realized it was me

The way you looked up at me while you laid in your bed, so peacefully

The way you extended your hand out to me

Reaching for me

I would give anything to be able to reach right back

To grab your hand again

I constantly watch that video of that day I spent with you

Not knowing at the time- it would be my last

I watch it like I’ve never seen it before and each time my heart breaks into a million pieces

I can feel my anxiety coursing through my veins like anesthesia

Just a rush of emotions

But I can’t sleep

Desperate and hurt, I grip the phone tight

Images replaying themselves over in my mind

I try and close my eyes to rest,but there they are

so vivid like the present

I get a sharp pain in my heart and then it sinks… deep

deep into the pit of my stomach and by morning I’m in a puddle of my tears

Just missing you

Just wishing I had more time