I want to say that he was a one of a kind master mind,
Loaded with a bright idea and plans to execute ahead of time,
But he was really just someone on his game with no time to waste,
He was going to get me to love him and swiftly steal my fate,
I was everything he needed me to be and from the outside looking in,
The love for one another was all that you could see,
It took a much deeper look to realize that the qualities he requested from me were not the average qualities that one would normally seek,
See…he was not searching for someone independent, caring, supportive,
Or most importantly intelligent,
No, he was looking for the vulnerable, the weak, and especially the gullible.
Although I possessed all the characteristics mentioned above,
His eyes were only fixed on my frailties,
And with both eyes shut all I could see was the love,
Even behind the colorful shades that every few days consumed my skin,
I still believed that love would always conquer all,
And one day I would win,
Sadly that day never came,
And I was often left here to stand alone shedding tears,
With a body covered in shame and with no one to blame…but me.
Feeling pain from the night before and fear pumping in my heart for tomorrow,
Wondering if only God could just step in and get him to feel my sorrow,
Maybe with a glimpse of my agony, remorse will kick in.
Maybe then he would be able to stop, step back and ask God to forgive him for his sins,
To have mercy on his soul when his life ends,
Till then one of us must make the choice to be strong,
To stop the cycle that’s been going on for far too long,
Surpass the emotional restraints that kept us together and just move on,
You know it’s funny-I used to think that it took strength to stay,
But I woke up one day with two new blue and purple rings around my eyes
Discovering the hard way-his favorite two colors couldn’t even be covered by my favorite shades,
I knew in that instant I needed to walk away,
Told my self today is the day, dropped to my knees and began to pray,
Realizing that I would never be commended for the battle wounds I endured,
That they would simply serve as a reminder that he could never be cured.
I thanked God that day for the epiphany,
For waking me up from the sick thought that it was because of me,
That I could have changed him somehow with love and honesty,
And honestly, I’m happy I can finally see just how silly that was of me to believe.